You use word ‘epiphany’ here, which is of value in understanding how all of this happens. We can work in a systematic way, building a little bit at a time, accumulating the constituent possibilities for richer perspectives, but often our understandings emerge as small epiphanies, as if objects, ideas, memories or fantasies have shown themselves to us in new ways that we could not have anticipated. These visions are not constructed intentionally, but through some re-working or re-arranging of ourselves that is not only the product of accumulating work, but of more messy, experimental ÎaccidentalÌ activity.

Allowing ourselves such activity while working on a PhD can be a challenge, but I found that I and many of my fellow students unintentionally found ways to play that seemed less likely to have occurred before pursuing doctorates. It was as if all of the intentional building activity that was necessary to pursue a PhD, demanded help from some messier playing that provided a deconstructive element amid all of that construction-like activity. I believe that construction and deconstruction are both necessary for us to see in new ways.

Not only does this make sense to me conceptually, but I even wonder about the possibility that there is some sort of ambient neural environment that is optimal for experiencing epiphanies. Neurologically, this might be like the constant pruning of neurons that accompanies the rapid growth of neurons during infancy.

If we donÌt engage in some ÎseriousÌ haphazardÌ unplanned mental activity, are we really going to be able to see anything more than our old overbuilt visions? ArenÌt I just restating what analysands do in therapy Ò free associate?

It would seem to me, then, that your creative life, blogging included, would be vital to the process of opening your eyes again and again. One of these times you will see something more of the answer to your questions about objects and seduction.

Dr X